Sunday, September 5, 2010

story time

imagine you're in the car. just run with me for a second, this happened to me today and i need to tell someone it. you're in the car, and you've only eaten about 80 calories that day so you're feelin' pretty light and empty, pretty happy. there's a boy driving, one that you really like and have liked for a long time. more than anyone else you've ever liked actually, and there have been times when he's liked you back. you're talking, a pretty normal conversation, about the type of people you usually want and are attracted to. then, all of a sudden he goes "it's weird that i liked you, i usually go for skinnier girls". you bite your lip, look out the window and nod, "different people like different things" you say, anything to get off the topic. he moves on, not knowing that it stung. badly, all of a sudden you're itching in your new top, all your fat is spilling out, you know it. all of a sudden, there are stretch marks on your thighs, all over. you're busting out of your clothes, your skin. starve, starve, starve, be one of the girls he's talking about, one of the perfect skinny girls that you aren't.
you can do it.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhh, ouch! I know this feeling so, so well.
    It used to drive me crazy because I heard it so often; "it's weird that I find you attractive," is NEVER a statement that makes you feel good inside.

    In fact, I heard it so much, that I thought it was the way things should be. I started to distrust guys whose type I actually fit into, I rationalized that it was better to make someone cut across their own grain, to prove that my inner person was more important that my appearance.

    I tried in my own way to turn that statement into a triumph, but there's no way of getting around how much it stings.

    BUT I do certainly feel like being one of those skinny girls he usually likes isn't the answer? Because whatever it is about you that is drawing him to you is more important than what you weigh, or what he usually digs.

    The thing you're hooking him with is intangible, and invisible. Trust it?