Wednesday, November 3, 2010

i'm feeling really depressed again. i want to crawl under my covers and stay there.

i keep hearing people on the show what's eating you and on these blogs saying that they're getting help because they want to live.

i feel most alive when i'm starving...


everything that's in my head won't come out of my mouth, i can't put it into words.

life's too hard today. hopefully tomorrow will be better.


  1. awh hang in there, babygirl. i'm feeling about the same way. i'm sick, so especially grumpy, but still. most people are in a different place than we are&that's alright. i hope tomorrow is sunny&peaceful for you.

  2. hi :) I'm following & find your blog to be delightful. I think you're an amazing person & I hope you have a better tomorrow!!

  3. feeling alive and actually staying alive are two different things?

    I feel more alive when I'm mind blowingly high...but taking the drugs that cause mind blowing highness drastically decreases life expectancy.

    it's all about which thing you value more at the time.

    sometimes you'd rather use a proxy to feel more alive than deal with what it means to keep living day-by-day.

    and sometimes you know the proxy is an illusion that prevents you from finding the life you were meant to live.

    times, seasons, changes...our hearts shift colors the same way leaves do in fall.

    I hope you know that the view from inside your head now doesn't have to be the same view for the rest of your life.


  4. I’ve seen the show. It doesn’t make me want to be better. I’m the same way as you!
    Infect, I get really mad that those girls (and guys) that can control everything so well. I do wish them the best of recovery, but it’s just not for me.
    Sorry to hear about your depression. As you know, I was there not too long ago. Just know that depression is clinical and even though it’s likely to come and go, it won’t stick around too long! My sister told me that and honestly at the time I didn’t want to hear that. But it really it true. Things will get better! Hang in there and I’m always here to talk!
    XX Sarah