i haven't eaten anything today, i love this feeling of being empty and clean and pure. i know a girl who is in a treatment center near my house and has to have 1500 calories a day. i was thinking about what i would resort to if i couldn't restrict, i don't think the result would be very pretty. feeling empty is my vice, if things are going wrong in my life, nothing matters as long as i'm empty. but if i'm full and things go wrong, i don't think i'd be able to handle it. i'd probably drink a lot, like some of my friends, but worse. or take pills or smoke all the time, i don't know. i hope i'll never have to find out.
ahh, i just tried to think of something to say that'd be a little happier and i don't have anything.. as depressed as that little bit above sounds, i'm really not that depressed i promise ladies! :) not much is going on in my life right now, my life is pretttty boring. i have alright grades this year, i'm really trying to get them up though, i want straight A's. probably not gonna happen but i've been trying super hard. and i'm really sick of my friends too, so it's really just easier to retreat into myself and not talk to people as much as i used to, and just stay home and do my homework. i've turned into a little recluse haha.
except for on here though! i love you guys. i lost a follower a day or two ago, trying not to take it personally, i think someone just deleted their blog. but thanks for all the comments and support, i'm pretty sure i'm following all of your lovely blogs, but if i missed a few, just leave the link and i'd love to follow :) there are a few of you i haven't heard from in comments or posts for a while, and if you're still out there reading, know that i'm here for you and i'd love to talk if that's what you need. my email is on my profile, it's email@example.com. i don't check it that often since my real email is my name and i don't want to use that on here, but if you email me at that one, i'll give you the one i use most and we'll talk there. or there's facebook, aim, whatever. i'm here for you girlies, i hope you know that because i love you all :)
that's pretty much it for today, hope you all are having/had wonderful days.
oh p.s. i got a bathing suit from victoria's secret! i know it's kind of off-season, but they were having a 75% off sale so all their suits were like $5 and $6, it was nuts, i had to buy one. the sizes were a little effed up since most of them were sold out, they sold out within hours! but i bought:
with solid pink bottoms instead of polka dotted ones. i also got a thong that's cute and ruffly :) all that was about $20, i'm so pumped. all though i won't be able to wear the bikini until 1. i'm skinny and 2. it's summer, it's a nice inspiration.